


Those Pesky Neggs

by fandomlover101



Series: 007 Oneshots [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Neopets - Freeform, Q is a Holmes, Random & Short, minor!Bondlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:45:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6722731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomlover101/pseuds/fandomlover101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bond barges into Q's apartment, believing that Q is being murdered. Bond will never be able to look at Q the same way again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Pesky Neggs

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I’m doing homework late at night and procrastinating. I’m actually kind of ashamed…
> 
> This also takes place before Spectre, which I have yet to see.
> 
> It contains a bit of Bondlock at the end.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Bond, or Q, or neopets, or Sherlock.

“Arrgggg! Why would you do that to me, you bastard!” James pulled his gun and kicked the door of the apartment in, expecting trouble. He entered quickly but efficiently, checking his surroundings carefully as he rushed through the apartment towards the shouts. When he got to his destination he stopped, confused.

“Q?” he asked, looking around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Q was sitting at his office desk, fingers tapping away on his laptop keyboard, fully focused on the screen in front of him.

Q jumped and spun around quickly upon hearing his name. “007. What _are_ you doing here?”

Bond paused. “I can’t just check up on my favourite Quartermaster?” Q didn’t seem to be worried, or in danger. He was simply glaring at Bond as though Bond was the reason he had been shouting in the first place.

“Well there is nothing to see here. Thank you for stopping by. Good day.” Q turned back to his computer and began tapping on the keyboard, effectively ending the conversation. Or rather, ending it with anyone who wasn’t a stubborn double-oh agent named James Bond, who simply stalked (because why would he walk normally _ever_?) up behind Q to stare at the brightly lit screen. “Can I help you?”

Bond’s brows furrowed as he took in what he was seeing. It was a rectangular box with a light blue background, and little water-balloon-like figures of varying colours scattered around. While most were red, different ones appeared and disappeared as a brown shape moving too fast to get a good look at went over them. On the side, “High Scores” stood out proclaiming that Q’s high score was 2200. “What on earth are you doing?”

“I would think it was rather obvious, 007. I’m playing a game.”

“I _see_ that. But –” Bond broke off, at a loss for words. Q sighed and turned around as he ended up cornered by the red water-balloons.

“Sometimes, 007, even _I_ need a break. While I do admit that this is juvenile, I find it rather therapeutic. It allows me to think while doing something tedious. Although lately it’s been a tad more stressful than it should be.” Q threw a distasteful look at the screen. At Bond’s questioning glance, he continued, “I’m quite good at this game and I should have the top score, but this other user beats me to it on a regular basis. I can’t bloody well beat them, no matter how much I play. And to make matters worse, it’s only by a few points! It’s like their own goal is simply to thwart me and prevent me from achieving the very top score. It’s these pesky red neggs – they always corner me.”

“Neggs? What exactly is it you’re trying to do?” Bond asked cautiously.

“I’m using a Meerca –”

“What’s a Meerca?” Bond interjected.

“It’s a neopet. Anyway –”

“What the hell is a neopet?!” Bond interjected again. Q felt his face flush.

“It’s a virtual reality pet. As I was saying –”

“Why do you need a virtual reality pet? You have Minerva,” Bond pointed out, nonplussed. At the sound of her name, the cat sitting on the computer tower blinked her eyes open to look at Bond, before stretching and jumping to Q’s lap. Q sighed.

“Fine. It’s a virtual world for children to play on. They can have their own pets and name them and play games with them.” He glared at Bond who looked entirely bemused. “I find tedious activity allows me to work better on a subconscious level.”

“It’s a children’s site?” Bond finally asked. “As in, the person you can’t beat is probably an innocent, ten-year-old child?” A grin broke out on his face. “You, the Quartermaster of Britain’s Secret Service, are beat on a _child’s_ game by a _child_.”

Q sniffed. “Well, they are made for children. It simply requires a lesser degree of intelligence than what I –”

Bond doubled over with laughter, barely breathing but still attempting to talk. Q could just discern words such as “child” and “games” among the sounds coming from Bond.

“That’s enough 007,” Q said as Bond’s laughter began to die down. “Now if you don’t mind, I do have things to do. I’m sure you can see yourself out.”

Bond sniggered as he headed out towards the door, calling out to Q, “Don’t make the children cry now. That wouldn’t be fair.” Q sighed, opening his work again. Once he heard Bond leave, he returned to the game to stare at the Top Scores, where his username was second. Scowling, he closed the browser. Damn kids.

\---

Sherlock sipped at his tea, a smirk gracing his features as he monitored the scores on Meerca Chase II.

“Why do you look so pleased?” John asked as he opened the morning paper.

“The game, John, the game is on!”


End file.
